Sorry, My Sunflowers!

Hello, my wonderful Sunflowers,

I am doing a small update and saying sorry for not being more consistent with my blog.

So, a little life update, this past few weeks have been very rough for me. It started off with working for almost 9 days straight between my two jobs. Which was just crazy long hours and a lot of driving. Even just me trying to balance my “normal” life of fitness, wellness and fun was already out of whack then another HUGE wrench came into my life.

Sadly, my Nanny-Mom (great-grandmother) was admitted into the hospital then moved into palliative care on March 4th, 2019. When that happened, I was in the middle of my 9 day work-week, no one really knew how much longer my Nanny-mom had and it was so much stress, worrying and a lot of sleepless nights. On the 5th of March, I left work early and told my other job that I wouldn’t be in on the 6th so I was able to spend time with my family during this time. Throughout those two days, my Nanny-Mom was pretty stable, to be honest, but being in the field of work I am, I knew that could change at any moment. It took both of my parents and boyfriend to convince me to go home and go back to work for the 7th and 8th because I didn’t want to leave my family and Nanny-Mom. So I went back to Oshawa for the two days then made another drive back to Brantford after my shift on the 8th. Then pretty much spent 8th, 9th, and the 10th, in the hospital with my family and supporting my Nanny-mom. Sadly, I had to go back to Oshawa because I had two shifts on 11th and 12th, but when I left, she was still stable and there was times throughout those 3 days, we thought she was going to move on and she had some type of unfinished business. Then, on the 12th, my mom gave me a call saying that it could be the night that Nanny-mom moves on because her breathing got slower and everything, and to stay in Oshawa; I spent so much time driving and everything, it really took a toll on my health (physically and mentally) that my mom told me to stay home because I already said good-bye and everything. I agreed to with my mom and told my mom to give her an extra hug and kiss for me. Also, kinda joked with my mom to tell Nanny-Mom to move on and it could be my birthday gift from her (it was my birthday on the 12th). Before anyone freaks out about that comment; my Nanny-mom was 92 years-old, has been in pain and was ready to leave to go to the other side for years (like 10+ years) . I wanted her to be out of pain and finally be happy. Also, that women gave my family and myself a hell of a roller-coaster of many episodes that we thought she was going to go BUT nope, she would stable back out after a few minutes. There was times that my family didn’t know if we should call everyone to come in and say goodbye or not. It was a lot of rough days that we never knew what was going to happen.

But after my birthday, on the 13th, I got the phone call from my mom telling me that my Nanny-Mom had finally passed on. I am sad that I wasn’t there to help her move on but at the same time, I am at peace with her passing.

So yeah, that is the main reason why I have been M.I.A. for the last few weeks.

Hopefully, I will be able to get back into the flow of things soon.

Thank-you for being understanding and standing by me.

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