So, I have been missing for a few months now.
Sorry about this but I needed to take some stuff off my plate. I started to get burned out with my work and personal life which just left me unmotivated, depressed and anxious for a lot of the time. There was days that I was off from work and all I could do was sit on the sofa and sleep. I had nothing left in me to do the things that I once enjoyed. Some of it was because of my workplace and an ex-manger putting lots of work lot on the team and picking up a slack of other people. It was all too much.
I realized that there was too much on my plate with balancing my work life and my personal life so I decided to take a break to help save my mental health. The blog was not the only thing I took a break from, I stopped going to the gym for about 2 weeks. I didn’t have the energy or the drive to go to the gym. I just felt like I needed rest and quality time with friends/my boyfriend. Even though, I know that I am an introvert and being around larger groups tend to drain my energy, I was feeling very alone in the world. I felt like I was the only person in the world. The two weekends with friend’s of Rio and I’s, really did help. We went up to a cottage for a few days then the weekend after we had small camping adventure when they had a tournament. Those times with people made me realized that I wasn’t alone in the world, that I need to be out more in nature; nature is the thing that truly keeps me grounded in the rough times of my life. I never thought I would be able to relax again but I started a fire one night and I literally was laying down in my chair and just was drawn in into the fire. I couldn’t stop watching the flame and one our friends joked with me saying that I did have a bed in to sleep in if I was tired. I just laughed and said that I was just enjoying the dance of the fire.
Now it has been about a week from those trips and I still found myself craving for more times in nature. There has been some thunderstorms in Ontario and I have been sleeping with my window open to be able to hear and smell the rain. I used to this all the time when I was back home and I would even sit in my family’s garage to watch the storm. Something about the sound of rain and thunder just reaching deep into my soul and calms me down. Also, in Ontario, we are changing from summer to fall and I love it. The colours of fall just make me realize that everything goes through changes and it turns out okay in the end.
I started to feel a change in myself with who I am, what I enjoy doing, my style and just most parts of my life. I am excited to see myself as the person I want to be and always wanted to be. I started to a lot more of self-growth things like listening to all types of podcasts, doing more research into things I enjoy, journaling/answering hard questions for myself, stepping to a style that I feel the most comfortable in and embrace my joys/hobbies.
I think the next blog post I am going to do is either about the new podcast I have fallen in love with or the type of journaling I am now doing to help find myself.
Sorry for being M.I.A. for the past little bit but it was much needed to be able to find myself again.